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Welcome to the Sleep Coach. I'm your host, Shelly Simpson. If you're exhausted, but your mind won't shut off at night, you're in the right place. Each week, we'll unpack the science of sleep, hormones, and the nervous system so you can understand what's happening in your body and finally get the rest you deserve. Here we quiet the 3 a.m. mind, calm the body, and help you finally get the sleep you've been missing. If you've been waking up at 2 or 3 in the morning, wide awake, mind racing, and no idea why, this episode is going to explain what's actually happening in your body and what to do so you can fall back to sleep. This is one of the most common things I hear from women, especially in their 40s and 50s. You fall asleep fine, and then out of nowhere, you're wide awake, just completely wide awake. Not just that quick wake up and then you go back to sleep kind of thing. Like you're just fully awake. And your brain suddenly decides this is the perfect time to replay your entire life. Go through your to-do list that things that you didn't get done or plan for things for tomorrow. And then you start thinking, oh my gosh, did I send that email? Did I actually hit send? Did I send that quote to that customer? Or you just start replaying all these things in your mind. And then you also start solving problems that don't even need solving at 3 a.m. The frustrating part is the more you try to go back to sleep, the more awake you feel. So first, I want you to hear this. This is not random, and it's not because something is wrong with you. Your body is actually doing something very specific. It's just doing it at the wrong time. Let's talk about what's actually happening. There are a few key things happening in your body during these 3 a.m. wakeups. And once you understand them, everything starts to make a lot more sense. Let's first talk about cortisol. I think most everybody knows or has heard of cortisol. It's actually your body's natural wake-up hormone. It's supposed to rise in the early morning to help you get out of bed. But when your body is under chronic stress, whether it be physical or emotional or even from things like poor sleep habits, that cortisol rhythm gets flipped or dysregulated. Instead of rising at 6 or 7 a.m., it actually spikes at 2 or 3 a.m. And when that cortisol goes up, your body automatically thinks, oh, it's time to wake up. Now let's talk about blood sugar. While you're sleeping, your body is working. It's doing a lot of processes while you're sleeping. There's so much going on. I mean, cell repair, memory consolidation, hormone regulation, immune function, like it's so important for your immune system to get good sleep, energy restoration, emotional regulation, there's so much going on in your body while you sleep. Getting back to blood sugar, however, we'll get back to all those processes in upcoming episodes. But just to get back to blood sugar, if your blood sugar drops too low during the night, which can happen from stress, not eating enough, or even alcohol, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline to bring it back up. And guess what those do? Yep, they wake you up. Often with that alert, slightly anxious, heart-racing feeling. You ever had that? Let's talk about hormones, especially in midlife. As estrogen and progesterone shift, especially in perimenopause and menopause, your body becomes more sensitive to stress. And progesterone in particular has a calming, almost sedative effect. And when that drops, your ability to stay asleep can go with it. Then there's the nervous system. If you've been in that go, go, go mode all day long, like most of us women do, we wear many, many hats. We're part of the sandwich generation. We're taking care of kids in school or helping adult children, your adult children, or your aging parents. So we just got a lot on our plates. We got a lot going on. We're right in the middle of becoming empty nesters, or we are empty nesters, or and or we are helping aging parents. So there's just a lot of hats that we wear. In addition to all that going on, your body just doesn't always know how to flip into a calm state at night. So when you wake up at 3 a.m., your system is already a little on edge. And it doesn't take much for your brain to jump in and keep you there. So when you put all that together: cortisol, blood sugar, hormones, stress, your body basically gets a signal in the middle of the night that says, Hey, it's time to wake up. We're gonna solve the world's problems right now. Not because it's broken, but because it's trying to protect and regulate you. Now, here's where most women accidentally make this worse without realizing it. You wake up and immediately you try to force yourself back to sleep. You check the clock, which instantly creates even more stress. And you start thinking, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be exhausted tomorrow. Maybe you even grab your phone. Big no-no. Now your brain is fully online. Here's the truth the harder you try to sleep, the more your body reads that as pressure. And pressure feels like what? Stress. And stress keeps you awake. So what to do instead? Step one, don't panic. I know that sounds simple, but it's powerful. Your body waking up is not an emergency. Your only job in that moment is to create a sense of safety in your body. Step two, calm your body, not your mind. Most people try to think their way back to sleep, but sleep doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body. So instead, slow your breathing, longer exhales than inhales, put a hand on your chest andor stomach. This just helps your body feel supported and creates that calm feeling of safety. And then you might even say something like, I'm okay, my body knows how to sleep. I'm okay. My body knows how to sleep. All right, step three. If you're wide awake, just get up briefly, keep the lights low, do something calm and boring, nothing stimulating. And please do not pick up your phone and start scrolling or get on your laptop and start answering those emails that you didn't get done during the day, the day before. Your body needs a reset. Don't punish it. Allow your body to take that time to reset. So doing something calm and boring, maybe grab a book and read something boring to yourself. Or sometimes I like to just sit and read my Bible. That always helps me to feel calm and supported and safe. The most important shift is this. We're not chasing sleep, we're creating the conditions for it. When you understand what your body is doing, you stop fighting it. And when you stop fighting it, your body can finally settle. This is something that can absolutely be improved with the right support and the right approach. Remember, you're not broken. Your body just needs support. So let's get you sleeping again. If this episode helped you, make sure you hit follow so you don't miss what's coming next. Thank you for spending this time with me today. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to follow the sleep coach so you never miss an episode. And if you know another woman who's lying awake at 3 a.m. wondering why she can't sleep, share this episode with her. Remember, you're not broken. Your body just needs support. Until next time, keep calming the mind, supporting the body, and creating the conditions for better sleep. Sweet dreams.