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Welcome to the Sleep Coach. I'm your host, Shelly Simpson. If you're exhausted, but your mind won't shut off at night, you're in the right place. Each week, we'll unpack the science of sleep, hormones, and the nervous system so you can understand what's happening in your body and finally get the rest you deserve. Here we quiet the 3 a.m. mind, calm the body, and help you finally get the sleep you've been missing. If you feel completely drained during the day, like you're running on fumes, but the second your head hits the pillow, you're wide awake. This episode is going to explain exactly why that's happening and how to start shifting it. This is one of the most frustrating patterns because it makes no sense on the surface. You're tired all day, you can barely focus, your energy is low, maybe you're reaching for caffeine just to function. And you think, tonight I'm definitely going to sleep. Then bedtime comes, and suddenly your brain is on. Your body feels restless, and you're thinking, How am I this tired and still not able to sleep? If that's you, you're not crazy, and you're definitely not alone. This pattern actually has a lot to do with how your body is handling stress and energy through the day. So let's break this down in a simple way. Your body runs on a rhythm, energy during the day, rest at night. But when that rhythm gets disrupted, you end up in this tired but wired state. First, your nervous system is stuck in on mode. You know that feeling where you're just as soon as your feet hit the floor, you're just on. You're you're just on, and you're constantly thinking, doing, managing, pushing through. Your body adapts by staying slightly activated all the time. So when you're physically tired, your nervous system hasn't gotten the signal that it's safe to power down. Second, cortisol again, but this time all day long. So when you're under stress, your body releases cortisol to keep you going. And here's the tricky part cortisol can actually mask fatigue. So you feel wired enough to get through the day, but by the time night comes, your body is overstimulated instead of ready for sleep. Third, energy crashes and rebounds. If your day looks like coffee, go, go, go, not enough food, stress, push through, stress, push through, go, go, go. Your body is riding this roller coaster of energy all day. So by time nighttime comes, instead of a smooth window, your body or your rather system is dysregulated. And that shows up as feeling awake when you should be tired. And then there's your brain. When your body finally slows down at night, your mind gets a chance to catch up. So all those thoughts you didn't process during the day, yeah. Guess what? They're gonna start popping up. Just when you start trying to wind down, that's when your brain wants to go into go mode. And they show up, yeah, just the moment you hit your pillow. Now, here's what most people do and why it keeps the cycle going. You push through the day thinking you'll crash at night, you rely on caffeine to get energy, you don't give your body real breaks, and then at night you expect your body to just flip a switch and relax. But your body doesn't work like that. If you've been in go mode for 12 hours, it's not going to instantly drop into calm just because it's bedtime. Your body has a system called the autonomic nervous system, and it has two branches. One is the parasympathetic and one is the sympathetic. Now, when you are on that fight or flight, go, go, go, stress all day long, your body is in a state of sympathetic. That's your fight or flight. And it's actually designed to protect you. So if a bear was running after you, your blood is going to go to your extremities right away. So you can be ready to do what? Take flight, to run. The parasympathetic is your rest and digest. And when you're in rest and digest, that's when everything starts to calm down, your system slows down. And this is the state that we want to get ourselves into, especially before bedtime. So, how do you start shifting this? Step one, you're going to support your energy during the day. This isn't about doing more, it's about doing it differently. Eat consistently. Just like a car needs fuel, your body needs fuel too to keep it going. So make sure you're eating. I know sometimes the day can get away with you and you just don't think about eating, but it's very important to plan out your meals, plan out your snacks, make sure you have something handy, something healthy that will give you energy and keep that energy going. Try not to rely on caffeine. I know this can be hard, especially when you're just so, so tired and you have a big busy day and half your day is only gone and you're already on empty. And that first thing you want to reach for is that soda, that coffee or whatever or energy drink, whatever that may be, that's your fix. That's your quick fix. But try not to do that. If you need some caffeine, maybe choose something more healthy, like a green tea that has some caffeine, but it doesn't have quite as much caffeine as, like, say, a coffee or energy drink. Then also give yourself small pauses during the day, small breaks, even if that looks like just a get up from your desk, take a five-minute walk, or just sit there and stare out the window for five minutes and just kind of let your brain kind of just come down off of all the thinking and all, you know, coming down from ongoing, going all day long. Because when your body feels more stable, it doesn't need to overcompensate at night. So again, try to give yourself some pause, small breaks, small pauses during the day. Step two, create a real transition out of your day. Most women go straight from doing everything to expecting to sleep. You need a buffer, even if it's 10 to 15 minutes. So, what that's going to look like is establishing a nighttime routine. Every night I turn down the lights, I shut off all the lights around 8:30 at night to get my body to come down off of you know a busy day, stressful day, or whatever the case may be. It's my body's signal to be like, oh, it's it's nighttime. It's time to relax, it's time to wind down. And I only have one dim light on in the living room, and I pop into my recliner, I throw a blanket on and throw my get my feet up and just try to get my body to just start winding down. I do this every night, even on the weekends, and it helps me to helps my body to get into that mode of, you know, shifting into that mode of it's nighttime, it's time to go to sleep. The other thing, no phone, try to stay off your phone and no scrolling. That just stimulates your brain even more. I keep my phone near me, but I don't text, especially after nine o'clock. That's my shutoff time completely. No more phone calls. Well, unless it's a family member that needs me. No texting and definitely no social media. And the other thing is just try to do something calming. This is going to tell your nervous system we're safe to slow down now. Step three, get out of your head and into your body. At night, thinking more is not the answer. Focus on slow breathing, relaxing your body, grounding yourself physically because sleep is a body process, not a mental one. When you start supporting your body during the day and giving it a real chance to wind down at night, this tired but wired feeling starts to shift. You don't have to stay stuck in this cycle. Your body knows how to sleep, it just needs the right signals. Thank you for spending this time with me today. If you found this episode helpful, be sure to follow the sleep coach so you never miss an episode. And if you know another woman who's lying awake at 3 a.m. wondering why she can't sleep, share this episode with her. Remember, you're not broken. Your body just needs support. Until next time, keep calming the mind, supporting the body, and creating the conditions for better sleep. Sweet dreams.